{"id":1146,"date":"2026-10-31T15:48:23","date_gmt":"2026-10-31T22:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/10\/31\/trick-or-treat\/"},"modified":"2026-10-31T15:48:23","modified_gmt":"2026-10-31T22:48:23","slug":"trick-or-treat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/10\/31\/trick-or-treat\/","title":{"rendered":"Trick or Treat?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" data-attachment-id=\"1145\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/img_2133\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?fit=1920%2C1920&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1920,1920\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"img_2133\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?fit=1024%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?resize=1024%2C1024&#038;ssl=1\" class=\"wp-image-1145\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?resize=1024%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?resize=768%2C768&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?resize=1536%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?w=1920&amp;ssl=1 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Everyone is wearing a mask.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How people appear says little about the person behind the mask.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>People have different motivations for the costume they choose.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Regardless of the mood in the room, there is the potential for a jump scare at any moment.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Danger is normalized.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If you&#8217;re scared, you&#8217;re too sensitive, or you&#8217;re just not in on the joke. It&#8217;s a you problem. You&#8217;ll get over it. Have some candy.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Our desire for candy will cause us to ignore all manner of warning signs.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>We can compel children to knock on strangers&#8217; doors with the promise of a reward\u2014reminding us that children are easy to exploit.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>We can trade the reward we used to compel children to knock on strangers&#8217; doors for toys or toothbrushes they didn&#8217;t ask for\u2014reminding us that bait-and-switch and gaslighting are at the very heart of our intimate relationships.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>When we point out the dark truths behind our cherished traditions, the conditioned responses are &#8220;Lighten up. You&#8217;re so negative. Thanks for killing the vibe. Why do you hate candy?&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Many of our cherished traditions are designed to reveal who&#8217;s paying attention\u2014and to trivialize and silence them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Happy Halloween! For some of us, it doesn&#8217;t end. Be safe out there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Happy Halloween! For some of us, it doesn&#8217;t end. Be safe out there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1145,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[603,6,14,15,606,9],"tags":[644,647,645,540,649,648,646],"class_list":["post-1146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-essay","category-neighborhood","category-neurodiversity","category-politics","category-rant","category-reflection","tag-celebration","tag-children","tag-halloween","tag-neurodivergence","tag-parenting","tag-social-contract","tag-tradition","hs-thumb"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paor1p-iu","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":279,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/13\/asking-for-an-end-to-violence-needs-no-qualification\/","url_meta":{"origin":1146,"position":0},"title":"Asking for an end to violence needs no qualification","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"May 13, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"If one recognizes the Palestinian people as equally human to oneself, one will experience no moral dilemma as one simultaneously condemns their slaughter, starvation, and displacement; and desires that Hamas-held hostages be released. On the other hand, if one finds oneself making statements which include clauses such as \"sad, but,\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;politics&quot;","block_context":{"text":"politics","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/politics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":783,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/06\/15\/know-what-youre-doing\/","url_meta":{"origin":1146,"position":1},"title":"know what you\u2019re doing","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"June 15, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"there's no decolonization without dismantling the gender binary. the intersectional person is the one who binds community\u2014because they actually understand and empathize with everyone. countries and communities who stigmatize nonbinary identity and orientation are doing white colonizers' work: one-drop purity tests don't build you up\u2014they prove you're not good enough.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;chronicle&quot;","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1490.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1490.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1490.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1490.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":405,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2025\/06\/19\/%f0%9f%9b%92\/","url_meta":{"origin":1146,"position":2},"title":"\ud83d\uded2","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"June 19, 2025","format":"aside","excerpt":"You see an old man in the parking lot, losing control of his cart, and you're right there, and your hand instinctively reaches out and stops the cart from rolling, and you pause, just long enough to show safety with your body, and say: \"it's fine,\" and move on. And\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;chronicle&quot;","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/img_0319-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/img_0319-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/img_0319-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/img_0319-1.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/img_0319-1.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":572,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2025\/08\/12\/%f0%9f%92%8c\/","url_meta":{"origin":1146,"position":3},"title":"\ud83d\udc8c","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"August 12, 2025","format":"aside","excerpt":"If you get a funny email, that was sent at 12:35am, from someone you recently had a conversation with, and nurtured with your smile, it's likely they're autistic, and for the few moments of your conversation, they believed that you were the best of friends, because you listened to their\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;chronicle&quot;","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":440,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2025\/07\/01\/440\/","url_meta":{"origin":1146,"position":4},"title":"\ud83d\udd3a","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"July 1, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Who is the you? Which is the me?Wait\u2013are there three? You may find that you seeeverything one way,just as it is,until one day youquestion something andhave a crisis, andmake a big cognitive leap,and then suddenly,there's anotherpossibility. You might find that you're seeingeverything a million different ways,completely overwhelmed,until one day, youhave\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;neurodiversity&quot;","block_context":{"text":"neurodiversity","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/neurodiversity\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/img_0337-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/img_0337-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/img_0337-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/img_0337-1.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/img_0337-1.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":858,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/08\/17\/normalize-casual-intimacy\/","url_meta":{"origin":1146,"position":5},"title":"Normalize casual intimacy.","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"August 17, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m a bi-gender person\u2014masc and femme together in parallel unison. Like a Tootsie Roll, a Twinkie, a Ho-Ho, or a KitKat, I have a more brittle, masc outer layer; and a creamy, femme inner core. The femme part of me has been surprised when I have proposed activities to femme\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;chronicle&quot;","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?fit=1179%2C820&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?fit=1179%2C820&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?fit=1179%2C820&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?fit=1179%2C820&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?fit=1179%2C820&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/img_2133.jpg?fit=1920%2C1920&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1146","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1146"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1146\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1145"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1146"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1146"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1146"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}