{"id":783,"date":"2026-06-15T23:49:39","date_gmt":"2026-06-16T06:49:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/06\/15\/know-what-youre-doing\/"},"modified":"2026-06-15T23:49:39","modified_gmt":"2026-06-16T06:49:39","slug":"know-what-youre-doing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/06\/15\/know-what-youre-doing\/","title":{"rendered":"know what you\u2019re doing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

there’s no decolonization without dismantling the gender binary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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the intersectional person is the one who binds community\u2014because they actually understand and empathize with everyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

countries and communities who stigmatize nonbinary identity and orientation are doing white colonizers’ work: one-drop purity tests don’t build you up\u2014they prove you’re not good enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

if you’re judging someone for their nonconformity, just know that you’re doing the white colonizers’ work. no reason not to say it out loud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

happy pride!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

there’s no decolonization without dismantling the gender binary. the intersectional person is the one who binds community\u2014because they actually understand and empathize with everyone. countries and communities who stigmatize nonbinary identity and orientation are doing white colonizers’ work: one-drop purity tests don’t build you up\u2014they prove you’re not good enough. if you’re judging someone for … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"know what you\u2019re doing","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29,27,124,28,24,14,26,15,9,39],"tags":[248,242,233,243,188,246,231,240,237,232,236,249,244,241,251,238,162,252,167,245,250,163,239,234,235,247],"class_list":["post-783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chronicle","category-didactics","category-education","category-ethos","category-meme","category-neurodiversity","category-personal-narrative","category-politics","category-reflection","category-work","tag-affect","tag-african-diaspora","tag-bissu","tag-colonialism","tag-community","tag-community-binding","tag-decolonization","tag-empathy","tag-epistemic-occupation","tag-gender-binary","tag-gender-identity","tag-gender-nonconforming","tag-griot","tag-intersectionality","tag-lgbtq","tag-missionary-sexuality","tag-nonbinary","tag-postcolonial","tag-pride","tag-purity-culture","tag-queer-history","tag-sexual-orientation","tag-shape-shifters","tag-tenders-of-the-fire","tag-two-spirit","tag-victorian-sexuality"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paor1p-cD","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":824,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/07\/18\/unkind-binaries\/","url_meta":{"origin":783,"position":0},"title":"unkind binaries","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"July 18, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"this is one kind of harm caused by the abled\/disabled binary when it is applied as a permanent designation to people: it erases from view the environment that enables or disables a person, and it makes invisible all of the ways that the environment is designed to enable the abled\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "didactics"","block_context":{"text":"didactics","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/didactics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_1667.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_1667.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_1667.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_1667.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_1667.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_1667.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":834,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/07\/22\/tldr-recognition-%e2%89%a0-choice\/","url_meta":{"origin":783,"position":1},"title":"tl:dr: recognition \u2260 choice","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"July 22, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Framing gender, sexual, and relational preferences as choices does real harm. These choices are the result of a culture built around a specific origin story, that by now is clearly a failed metaphor. When the beauty of human variation has been forced through binary tunnels for centuries, who we are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "chronicle"","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_0913.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_0913.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_0913.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_0913.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_0913.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_0913.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":787,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/06\/22\/are-redheads-sun-drenched-brunettes-or-spicy-blondes\/","url_meta":{"origin":783,"position":2},"title":"are redheads sun-drenched brunettes, or spicy blondes?","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"June 22, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"I recently received pushback from the usual channels when I posted about decolonizing the gender binary. As is my way, I went looking to history to see if I was being unfair to white guys. What I found was pretty clear, and it's not just related to race (like gender,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "chronicle"","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1516.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1516.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1516.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1516.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1516.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/img_1516.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":881,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/09\/13\/what-i-brought-with-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":783,"position":3},"title":"what i brought with me","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"September 13, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"ever since i was young, i've felt like i was from a different culture, and was dropped into this one by a stork. somewhere along the way, i decided to stick by this, and honor the integrity of my original culture, and not get too deep into this dominant culture\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "chronicle"","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":858,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/08\/17\/normalize-casual-intimacy\/","url_meta":{"origin":783,"position":4},"title":"Normalize casual intimacy.","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"August 17, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m a bi-gender person\u2014masc and femme together in parallel unison. Like a Tootsie Roll, a Twinkie, a Ho-Ho, or a KitKat, I have a more brittle, masc outer layer; and a creamy, femme inner core. The femme part of me has been surprised when I have proposed activities to femme\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "chronicle"","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/img_1782.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":829,"url":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/2026\/07\/21\/bigender-identity-journal-entry\/","url_meta":{"origin":783,"position":5},"title":"bigender identity journal entry","author":"Ryk Groetchen","date":"July 21, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"i passed 3 tween girls doing a coordinated dance for tiktok on a walk recognition: that's me. memory: when i was a kid, i wanted to play jump rope and hand-clapping games with the girls, instead of kickball and four-square. the boys were always trying to win, and would spike\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "chronicle"","block_context":{"text":"chronicle","link":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/category\/chronicle\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/img_1683.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=783"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/783\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ryk.groetchen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}