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Who is the you? Which is the me?Wait–are there three? You may find that you seeeverything one way,just as it is,until one day youquestion something andhave a crisis, andmake a big cognitive leap,and then suddenly,there’s anotherpossibility. You might find that you’re seeingeverything a million different ways,completely overwhelmed,until one day, youhave to get something done,and you … Read more

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As I recognize that my child has moved beyond the range of my radar, my only comfort is in knowing that the last thing I said to him was:

“I see you and recognize how your body and mind are working things out in their own way. I’m sorry for the unhelpful and unrealistic expectations that I put on you. You will try and fail according to your own particular set of circumstances, and you will always get another chance. I love you. You are perfect.”

It’s not a condition – it’s a predisposition

Me: It’s not a condition – it’s a predisposition. Friend: What is? My particular nervous system processes my experience through language. I have experiences, and some part of me chews and chews and chews and digests and then out comes a word (this didn’t start as a scatological reference, but here we are). Much of … Read more

The middle way: hub, or hollow?

Imagine a conversation about a trip to a museum between a person whose instrument of recall includes a detailed cinema projected onto the back of their eyeballs and a person with no access to visual formations at all. Imagine a conversation about a favorite album between a person who hears symphonies in their inner ear … Read more

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You see an old man in the parking lot, losing control of his cart, and you’re right there, and your hand instinctively reaches out and stops the cart from rolling, and you pause, just long enough to show safety with your body, and say:

“it’s fine,”

and move on.

And then, a second later, you are standing across from a young woman screaming at her wailing child:

“chill tf out!”

And your body is frozen, except for the heart that pumps as if it is trying to put out a fire. Which it is.

And as you bear witness, you wish that it was this cart your hand could instinctively reach out and stop from rolling.

super weird arbitrary common sense neighborhoods

I post a lot about politics on Facebook and my personal blog, and I have many strong and specific opinions. I also have joined many special interest groups on social media. It would never even occur to me to share my political opinions in these special interest groups, but I understand why some might.

I’m also neurodivergent, and I post a lot about that. Again, if I wanted to start a hyperlocal neurodivergence group, I feel empowered to do so, and wouldn’t consider posting in my local community group (though I might introduce myself there and invite folks to join my group if they like).

As a neurodivergent person, I have a lot of practice stepping on various boundaries that I did not understand intuitively. And, I understand a wide range of reactions to being reminded of a boundary.