[➡️🩷⬅️]

here’s what i’m trying to reconcile, sweetie,

some of us recognize that we maybe only have five days left to connect with our loved ones,

while others feel that time is endless, and we’ll always have another chance, in the future, to eventually connect with our loved ones.

and those of us who recognize that we maybe only have five days left are recognizing that we’re not hearing from the loved ones who we want to be connected with, in our last five days.

we’re recognizing that we might not be the ones that our loved ones want to be connected with in their last five days.

how do we reconcile this, with our loved ones?

how do we stay connected, even in tiny ways, that don’t evoke a sense of obligation to make some kind of ultimate connection?

i miss you, sweetie. our connection means the world to me, even in the tiniest of ways.

time is silently ticking by, behind all of our big feelings about how we’re supposed to connect, and how we’re feeling disconnected from our world.

within all of these big feelings, just know that a ‘hi’ or an emoji is enough.

you are exactly enough.

i love you, sweetie. i want to be connected to you in the ways that you want to be connected to.

mostly, i just love you.

so.

much.

Attentional Disengagement

Thesis: the attentional disengagement family of predispositions is a healthy and strategic set of adaptations within a species or community with strong tendencies to cooperate. In a species adapted to function through tight coordination, the coordinated activity can become prioritized, causing those engaged to lose sight of the emergent reason for the activity.

In a community centered around presence, or balance, (rather than productivity), attentional disengagement provides opportunities for reflection and reassessment, allowing coordinated activity to be fine-tuned to maintain balance in the collective body of the species relative to its environment.

In communities with a strong directional tendency, where coordinated activity is prioritized to achieve dominance over environmental conditions, the predisposition for attentional disengagement will become pathologized, given its function of maintaining balance within a community relative to its environment.

Absent this balancing function, the coordinated activity of the community will effect changes in the environment, as resources are consumed to fulfill the requirements of the activity.

In a social model where sensory differences are embraced and respected, the collective awareness of the scope of the phenomenal world is increased, as information is shared within a connected community. In a social model that is protective of adherence to a narrow range of views about the scope of the phenomenal world, difference is pathologized.

The case can be made that people with deeply different sensory, behavioral, and cognitive differences are aberrational, divergent, and that the choices for integration into the community are a) to shepherd them toward ability that supports collective coordinated activity where it is possible, and; b) to isolate and institutionalize them into cordoned-off care environments where medication and behavioral mediation manage their attempts to connect directly, as they are wired to do.

This being said, my thesis maintains that in attempting to modify behavior to increase functionality directed toward productivity, or in isolating people with deeply different sensory needs, and not caring for them collectively and unconditionally, we isolate ourselves from our capacity to care.

In a system of care where care means a 15-minute doctor visit paid for with every waking hour of labor, people with different sensory needs create friction. But when integrated into a caring co-regulating community, the quality of care they inspire enriches all of us and increases our capacity to respond to one another carefully.

Anecdotal evidence, from parents and caregivers of children with deeply different cognitive, sensory, and behavioral experiences–young and adult children, suggests that that connecting with people with deeply different experiences brings deep joy. Most of the difficulties come with the isolation, the obligation of one family alone to provide all care in one home with limited resources and no opportunities for collective co-regulation. Literally, no one has time to care.

The pathologizing of people with sensory differences is literally a product of our economic and societal model, which prioritizes coordinated activity directed toward productivity over presence and balance within our environment. I believe that studying other existing, historical, and theoretical economic and societal models, with different, non-pathologizing views toward people with sensory differences, will support my thesis.

Thank you for your consideration.

Wow

I was in Taqueria La Familia today,
having an excellent pescado burrito,
and listening to the cumbia that was
coming over the radio, when…

Kristi Noem’s DHS spot totally killed the vibe.

I can’t believe they are selling ads like that in California,
but I guess these big media companies don’t care.

She literally says
“YOU ARE NEXT” and
“YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE COUNTRY NOW.”

I have left the country,
(in my heart)
I’m not at home in any place where
words like that
come across the radio.

Radio has been a kind of church to me.

It’s hitting me hard, what’s happening.
I’m here,
and I’m crying a lot,
and you’ll mostly find me
in person.

#nolongeramerican #myheartismyonlycountry

❣️

all the little things you do are done for love.

don’t doubt it. shout about it.

shout about the things you do for love.

(it’s about the little things)

little things are moved toward love.

(If you are moved, move the little things toward love)

love this, sweetie

lovethislovethislovethislovethislove

[💗]

When one offers a request for respect
(reasonable)
one seems to hear a demand for compliance
(white)

When one offers an invitation to consider
(black)
one seems to hear a demand to comply
(unreasonable)

One suspects that somewhere between reasonable offerings
(black)
and unreasonable demands
(white)
there’s a place one meets

(not just grey, but infinitely colorful,
including all the greys and colors)

(if there’s a space between)

(one has faith and hope
in the space between)

One has faith in respecting the request for respect, and
one has hope in considering the invitation to consider.

Somewhere between
reasonable and unreasonable,
black and white

–as vulnerable as that space might seem–

there’s hope that one meets faith there.

One might say there’s faith in hope there.
One might hear in hope there’s faith there.

The heart is in the space between.

💙

i don’t know
if it’s funny
or sad

that people can read
a poem from a hundred
years ago

and laugh
but when their friend
writes a poem

they worry about
their mental health

(whose mental health
are they worried about?)

even people who
love the blues,
which is often

funny and sad:
that’s the blues
in a nutshell.

who doesn’t feel
funny and sad?
and who doesn’t love

the blues?
that’s what love is

all about. (maybe they
don’t know what love is)