unkind binaries

this is one kind of harm caused by the abled/disabled binary when it is applied as a permanent designation to people: it erases from view the environment that enables or disables a person, and it makes invisible all of the ways that the environment is designed to enable the abled person.

it functions to other into a social class an experience that everyone is living, but some don’t recognize—the experience of needing to exist in relationship.

if we recognize that no one can live outside of relationship, and that we play both roles continuously—the carer and the cared for—then we start to recognize the moment of need without needing to label someone needy.

In designating certain people as disabled, without the embedded values of care and reciprocity at the cultural level, then the abled person gets to sidestep the role of caregiver, and there is not enough care to go around, leaving the disabled to have to negotiate for care that in a different culture would be considered a human right. I’m not just talking about healthcare. I’m talking about basic human dignity.

binaries are useful conceptual shorthand that should never be applied to people without their consent. if you can understand the value of going beyond the binary based on biological gender, and the real harm that strict adherence to that binary causes, you can understand why permanent status as a disabled person might leave some people out. What I hear when I hear “autism is always a disability” is “there are only two genders: male and female.”

culture

be honest:

is culture the ability
to sing the same songs together
in joyful abandon
with your neighbors?

is culture
a shared recipe,
or a coordinated
childcare plan?

is culture the fact that you’ve shopped
at the same Target,
or are recovering from the same expectation
to sit still and keep quiet?

is culture the purchase
of the right brand,
that signals casual,
but not struggling
?

be honest:

what is culture,
to you,
and who
is left out?

are you
feeling proud
of your culture,
right now?

what opportunities to participate
in the culture you identify with
have you passed up because
you were too busy?

what happens
when no one
shows up
to cultural events?

be honest:

do the ones
who pay
your paycheck
have your back?

does your work
fulfill the standard
you set for yourself
at 20?

does access
to the levers of power
make your
family happier?

does the time you spend
at work compensate you
for the time you’ve lost
with your family?

be honest:

what the fuck
are we, as people
who love, doing here,
right now?